GOOD NIGHT SISTER HILDA AGBELOGODE-ASEKHAME

by ALLISON ABANUM
I write this with great sadness over the unimaginable loss of a Sister, Aunty and Close friend to Kidney Failure. I hardly get emotional and that may be due to my strong heartedness, but for the first time in 13 years I went deep down  last Thursday. My beloved Father, Mentor and Guardian Napoleon Agbelogode had called me to break the news of the passed on of this wonderful sister who happens to be my Guardian’s kid sister and undoubtly his most pretty sister, Mrs Hilda Agbelogode-Asekhame. I was completely speechless for almost 30 minutes after the news and closed my computer, crawled to my bed and broke down crying.
She fought a brave and strong battle and took each day in stride without complaining, hoping that treatments would finally end so she could get on with her life. And this was my hope too. I had prayed ceaselessly for her to the extent of involving my pastor friends.
Hilda was beautiful, inside and out, she was a wonderful sister, supporting everyone with her gentle and caring nature. We practically lived together in my Guardian’s house for five years and all alone lived in the same house for a year when my Guardian was off to the United States on official assignment. While living alone with sister Hilder, I was a dramatic trouble maker and no thanks to my political juggernauting at that time. We became more close and shared so much together without many knowing shortly before and after she got married. We could gossip about everybody and everything in the house and express our honest opinion.
Sister Hilda was loving and real. She is what I will describe as averagely intelligent but has a sensitive, courageous and fragile heart. The type of sacrifice my beautiful friend Hilda sacrificed in her marriage is completely unprecedented, not even myself can make such sacrifice in marriage. She was determined to make her marriage work, she was always disturbed about negative report on her marriage within the family. She strived to keep her marriage affairs secret even at the expense of her happiness and that equally explains why she kept her ailment secret, though I don’t  totally support that idealogy. She cherished and adored her eldest brother Napoleon Agbelogode’s marriage and wanted same for her marriage. She practically gave her all to her marriage to uplift standard in all sphere. She is the type that keep records and always go back to it when it matters. She tries not to be the last even though she can’t be the first. She appreciates goodness and has a humble spirit and a sense of humor. She is always on the defensive than offensive with zero criminal mindset.
In one of our usual gossip, Sister Hilda told me that she wants to make her mum proud among all the daughters of the house. She told me how she wanted all blocks in her family close as soon as she is done with developing herself and positioning herself rightly, and she got that inspiration from the Onowighose’s, her eldest brother’s wife immediate family. I hope to share more of the gossip I had with my aunty Hilda later in memorial but the gossip we never had was this unceremonious way of saying Goodbye.


Hilda is not your typical warri babe, though hails from Warri. She clocked 40 last November and one of her dream was to retire from child bearing before 40. She is blessed with a more intelligent girl called Greatness and was making sure that her daughter have a great life, full of her values and wishes. Her daughter  will surely miss her smile just as I will. Am consoled by the fact that her beautiful spirit will live through her daughter, and her daughter will always know how much my sister Hilder loves her. Am more consoled by the fact that God almighty called her, and she had to go knowing  she will always be with us in our heart.
I want to close with a brief tribute to my sister Hilda, who died far too young, and with much sadness in her heart. If she was here with me now, this is what I would tell her:
I can’t believe that you’re gone my sister. I can’t believe that I’ll never be able to visit you again. I can’t believe that I’ll never be able to wrap my arms around you and give you a big, big hug.
I’m sorry that I didn’t know much about your pain. I’m sorry that I didn’t stay in closer contact with you in your last days. I’m sorry that I assumed that everything was okay with you, when inside you were hurting.
I wonder what you were thinking as your life ended. Did you wonder if your life mattered? Then let me tell you that it did. That in those few days together you touched my heart with your kindness, your laughter, your positive energy. And above all else with your beautiful, beautiful smile.
As you were dying, did you wonder if people would remember you? Then let me tell you that I will remember you forever and hold you close in my heart.
It’s been days since I found out about your death my sister. Tears are streaming down my face as I write these final words. Goodbye my beautiful friend. I hope that wherever you are, you finally have peace in your heart and in your soul. Good night.